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How to Edit a Paragraph

To learn how to edit a paragraph, it’s important to identify what needs to be changed.  It’s not as hard as you think. Try this:

Which of these paragraphs do you like better?

It is a fun activity. Rollerblading can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at them. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is they help make you strong and gives you confidence.

Rollerblading is a fun activity which can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. A lot of strength and energy are required to do it. While dangerous in the beginning, in-line skating is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

If you said the second one, there is a good reason. There are some simple strategies to make easy changes to turn a not-so-good paragraph into a paragraph that is easy to follow and engaging for the reader. So, when your teacher says “Fix this!” or “Edit that!” just click on the tips below for more information and examples on what to do to make your paragraphs better.

Editing Tip: Subject Variety

Change the subject of the sentence. The sentence subject doesn’t have to be the topic of the paragraph every time. Start your sentences with different words. This will help you add variety to your writing and make your paragraph more enjoyable for your audience.

Example:

Rollerblading is a fun activity. It can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. In-line skating can be dangerous if you’re new at it. This sport is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

Quick Fix: Even with synonyms and pronouns, the subject of each sentence is still the topic of the paragraph. Change the subject of the sentences to add more variety.

Rollerblading is a fun activity which can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. A lot of strength and energy are required to do it. While dangerous in the beginning, in-line skating is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

Pronouns & Synonyms as Reference Words

If you think there is too much repetition in your paragraph, try replacing some of the pronouns with synonyms. Replace it or they with synonyms.

Example:

Rollerblading is a fun activity. Rollerblading can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at it. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

Quick Fix: Underline words that are repeated more than twice. Think of other words that you can use to mean the same thing and replace the repeated words with new words.

Rollerblading is a fun activity. It can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. In-line skating can be dangerous if you’re new at it. This sport is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

Editing tip: Singular/Plural Pronouns

Keep your number straight. If your pronoun refers to a singular or non-count noun, use it or this. If your noun is plural, use they, these or them.

Example:

Rollerblading is a fun activity. It can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at them. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is they help make you strong and gives you confidence.

Quick Fix: They or them could refer to rollerblades. Rollerblading is singular. Decide whether you want to talk about the boots or the activity, and make the appropriate changes.

Rollerblading is a fun activity. It can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at it. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is it helps make you strong and gives you confidence.

Editing Topic Sentences and Pronouns

Don’t use pronouns in your topic sentence. Your audience should be able to tell what the paragraph is about by reading the topic sentence. If you use a pronoun, they won’t know the topic.

Example:

It is a fun activity. Rollerblading can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at them. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is they help make you strong and gives you confidence.

Quick Fix: Switch the pronoun in the topic sentence with the noun in another sentence.

Rollerblading is a fun activity. It can be done any time of year. It is hard to do at first. It requires a lot of strength and energy. Rollerblading can be dangerous if you’re new at them. Rollerblading is fun after a while. The reason is they help make you strong and gives you confidence.

Improve your Listening Skills

Have you ever thought native English speakers talk too fast? If so, this post might help you.

When you are having a conversation with someone to practice your English fluency, there is a possibility that you are focusing too much on your speaking skills and not enough on listening. In many conversations with ESL students, I am talking and someone stops me in the middle of my sentence to say something. At first, I thought it was impolite, but then I realized that the people who do this are so worried about having perfect grammar that the conversation itself loses its importance.

Here’s what happens: You spend the entire conversation constructing a grammatically “perfect” sentence in your head which you say out loud the moment you have perfected it. While you were thinking, you were not communicating. Your partner’s words don’t seem to matter (especially if you cut them off). At this point, you have lost an opportunity to learn.

The results are (1) that your partner thinks you are not interested in them or what they are saying, (2) you’re not listening for new words or expressions that a native speaker can teach you, and (3) you only respond to your own thoughts and not to the actual words.

I recommend that you try these steps to help improve your listening which will eventually improve your grammar, vocabulary, and overall speaking skills:

  1. Turn off the subtitles of movies and television. If you use subtitles, you are depending on reading—not listening.
  2. Just listen to someone talk for a while—don’t interrupt.
  3. Ask follow-up questions.
  4. In questions and answers, use the same auxiliary (verb tense) as the verb you hear.
  5. If someone says something you can’t understand, ask them about a specific word or phrase instead of “Can you repeat that?”
  6. Don’t try to be perfect. Just listen and model the speaker.

Native speakers’ speed of talking is just fine. You might consider working on your listening speed.

10 Paragraph Writing Rules

  1. Start your paragraphs with a topic sentence. Don’t use pronouns in your topic sentence.
  2. Include details, experiences, examples, and opinions.
  3. Use reference words (synonyms and pronouns) to refer to the topic.
  4. Make sure your paragraph stays on topic.
  5. Reread your paragraph out loud to eliminate repetition.
  6. Review for pronouns (if you use “they” – is it obvious who or what it’s referring to?)
  7. Make your paragraph 4-8 sentences, but…
  8. Include only relevant information.
  9. Use transitional words and phrases to help your audience (the readers) flow from one topic to another.
  10. Close with a conclusion sentence that refers to, but does not repeat, the topic.

E-mail Complaints & Suggestions

I just got an e-mail reply from 6 months ago. Instead of opening a new e-mail, the sender hit “reply” and didn’t change any of the content.

I have seen this type of e-mail laziness circulate the cubicles for about a decade now, and I’m surprised that as far as we’ve come technologically, the do’s and don’ts of professional e-mails still confound a lot of people.

Before sending an e-mail, think about these points:

  • Is it a personal or professional e-mail? If it’s professional, the person receiving it either pays you or gives you grades. Adjust your writing appropriately.
  • Is the tone of what you’re saying important to the message? If so, consider changing it, because the tone/intonation is usually not received how you intended for it to sound.
  • Are your expressions appropriate for the audience? If it’s a professional e-mail, don’t write “wat RU up2”
  • Double check and use spell check. Reread the e-mail to check for words that spell check will miss: too/to, write/right, sea/see, tank/thanks.
  • Don’t forget to write your name. If your e-mail is bizzee1896@hotmail, it gives your reader very little information to identify you.
  • ALL CAPS MEANS YOU’RE SCREAMING.

and finally

  • Never use all lower case because the message you really send is laziness.